Having the “SEX” conversation with your parents
If you are like me, you may only have one living parent or your parents might be divorced. Either way, they may be newly single, dating and engaging in sexual relationships years after being with the same partner. Many older Americans are not aware, much less concerned about practicing safe sex despite the changing sexual landscape. The development of Viagra and other ED (erectile dysfunction) drugs has made it easier for seniors to celebrate and express their sexuality, which is the upside to ED drugs. But there is a downside, as described in the article, Men of ED drugs get more STDs, “Men prescribed drugs for erectile dysfunction are two to three times more likely to contract sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), particularly HIV or chlamydia, than men who are not prescribed ED treatments, researchers report.”
As a result of these ED drugs, many senior men are now able to have a lot of sex with women their own age, but they are also engaging in sexual relationships with younger women, even with teenage girls, mostly in exchange for money, clothes or basic affection. In addition, older women are also having relationships with younger men, who themselves maybe offering sex in exchange for money or clothes. In this landscape of sexual freedom, most seniors don’t practice safe sex and are not familiar with HIV/AIDS awareness. According to the previously mentioned article by Katrina Woznicki from WebMD Health News, “Earlier research has found that people aged 50 and older are one-sixth less likely to use a condom and one-fifth less likely to be tested for HIV compared with people in their 20s.”
Therefore, many AIDS organizations are rushing to work with senior centers to provide safe sex information and HIV/AIDS education. But, more needs to be done as infection rates increase. A wide spread effort is needed that incorporates the church, family and healthcare providers. Doctors should be managing and assessing the sexual health risks and sexual activity of their older patients, including testing them for HIV. A similar discussion about sexual health risks can be held with the Women and Men ministries along with other church groups with the assistance of organizations like Balm in the Gilead and the National Black Leadership Commission on AIDS, two organizations that already have established relationships with the Black church. Finally, adult children should talk to their parents as soon or even before they start dating about the importance of condom use and the practice of safe sex. The same “sex” talk that was hard for them will also be hard for you but will be necessary in protecting your parent’s sexual health.
We can’t leave our seniors out of the discussion, when they need us the most to provide guidance, love and support. Have that talk with your mother or father,let them know you care. It will be one of the hardest talks but could be the most rewarding.
